I'm going to be a sophomore in high school.  This year.  In two weeks.

I'm going to get my permit sometime after this Tuesday.  This month.  I'll be driving.

Often things like that hit you at strange times.  Maybe it's right as you're looking at your new classes.  Maybe it's as you're buying new school supplies.  Or maybe, it's just real life.  And it hits you dead on.

I am going to college in three years and I have no idea what in the world I'm ever going to do.

There.  I said it.  I don't know which state I want to go to school in.  I don't know if I want to stay on the West or the East coast.  And no, I have absolutely no idea what I want to major in.  No idea.  As in... I don't even have the slightest clue.  I don't even have a tiny idea.  A little whisper.  Nothing.  It's all a giant blur to me.  And sometimes it stresses me out, just a little bit.

Yes, it's three years away.  No, apparently that's not too far away.  But I'll be honest... the world is kind of pressuring me.

Everyone I come across asks me what I want to do.  Where I want to go.  What state I want to be in.  I have no idea, I tell them.  Not even the slightest.  For a while, I knew.  I knew for sure what I wanted to do.  But now, it all changed.  There are so many options and I could go for any.  So many things I'm passionate about but I can't seem to find which one really suits me perfectly.  Which one really makes me want to do.  Because that's the other thing... I want to want to do it.  I want to love my future job.  I want to be something I love.  And what I love and what I'm passionate about are all extremely a blur to me right now.

And today, I decided.

It doesn't matter.  I have three years.  Three years.  A lot can happen in three years.  A lot has happened in the past three years of my life.  And I would have never suspected this would be my life three years ago.  My life could be thrown upside down in the next three years.  All my passions, the things I love, they could all be replaced with something else.  The people I love, the state I live in, they could all change.  They could all disappear.  And I would have no idea.

So no, I have no idea where I'm going to college.  Not even a tiny idea.  Not even a certain direction.  And I'm not going to let the world pressure me anymore.  Because it's my life, and I'll make my decision when I know it's the right one.

I am quite looking forward to the next three years.  Stay tuned... you never know what I might find out I love next.

Anonymous –   – (August 19, 2012 at 7:05 AM)  

i can totally relate to this. i'm kinda going through the same thing. only thing is, i have just one year. one year left to figure things out and to decide where i'm going and what i'm doing after this year is over. but i've learned to not stress out over it. God can handle it, so why not let Him? He's got my whole life planned out and ready to go. i just have to trust Him and not try to figure it out on my own. He's got this. :)

Emma  – (August 19, 2012 at 2:37 PM)  

This is exactly, to a tee, how I feel about my after high school education. I have no idea what I want to do, where I want to go, but I know He will work it all out the way it's supposed to be. :) <3

Olivia  – (August 20, 2012 at 4:13 PM)  
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Olivia  – (August 20, 2012 at 4:14 PM)  

oh yay- i'm not the only who isn't rushing to figure out what i'm going to do. I feel like I have 3 years and am going to take my time as I decide :)
.. and of course in God's timing for me.

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