"Which country did he come from?"


It's the question we get every single place we go.  People inquiring about where he came from.  The answer is always "the US", and it makes me laugh to see people get less excited after we say that, and not mention an African country.  I'm fine with answering this question, but here's why this question bothers me.

I thought this blog post put it best, "The reason I think it would be better for people not to ask this question is just because it feels like they are screaming “you are different, you don’t fit in” to my child."  

And that's exactly what it is.  It doesn't bother me because they're wondering, it doesn't even bother me that we get asked the same question all the time.  It's simply that they think there is something completely different about Trey that they just have to know about.  There is an obvious difference in skin color, yes, but does the question "Which country did he come from" really have to be asked?  I personally don't see how important it is, or why the world thinks they are entitled to know personal stuff about Trey's birth story, but learning to respond to it is interesting.  

(Also, watch this video and then read this post.)


Olivia  – (November 20, 2012 at 2:42 PM)  

yesss. I don't know how many times I've heard, "So where are they from again?" It doesn't make sense to me, but maybe it will help some people understand the "why" of adoption.

And gahh, that video! I've watched it so many times - it's hilarious and SO true! :)

Megan  – (November 21, 2012 at 10:40 AM)  

I have been on the other side of this. In fact, I think I asked you that very question on Instagram once. Coming from an international adoption, seeing a kid that looks different isn't weird to me, and so I ask more out of curiosity than trying to be rude or point out that Trey "doesn't fit in". But I do see where that can get annoying an seem rude.

emma claire  – (November 21, 2012 at 1:51 PM)  

@Megan, of course! I for sure get that there are people like you that ask out of curiosity, and I know it wasn't to be rude! In fact, usually when people ask, they're not trying to be rude. I'm completely okay with people asking because they're simply wondering, but it seems lately that when strangers ask us this question it's more out of a, oh, he's adopted, therefore different. This post was geared more toward those who are not educated on adoption and think they are entitled or something to know other personal parts of an adoptee's birth story/history. :)

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