he was put into my family with no say in the matter. 

he was to conform to my family because that would be all he knew. 

he is to grow and learn and live in my family despite his thought on the matter. 

and he sits on my lap and plays with his remote that sings and looks up at me when the music starts with that big huge smile of his where he squints his eyes and you can see his two tiny teeth and I am reminded 
once again
of how blessed I am that God chose him
for me. 

i sometimes forget the two sacrifices that took place for me to be here, with him.  the first was God's when He first adopted us selflessly into His family.  the second was when that story shone down on a woman who said i choose to break my heart for your sake.  i choose to hurt for your sake.  i choose to let go of a piece of my heart, i choose to not have my name on your birth certificate, i choose to choose another mother for you.  all because i love you that much.

i am so blessed that she chose to love him enough that she would give me the chance of loving him too.

oh, what an overwhelming feeling.  

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