always in my heart

Most people that are new to my blog probably don't know that my family had two foster kids two summers ago.  It's been two years, and I still can't let them go.  When they left (after three months), we were ready.  It's one of those things that you just can't change.  It was hard adding two kids from different backgrounds into our home for three months.  I don't even remember that summer very well.  There's still a place in my heart for them, and there always will be.

Foster care is hard.  To be honest, during the time you have kids in your home... it's extremely hard.  You're letting kids into your home for long periods of time, and one day, you'll get a call and someone shows up and those kids that you loved & cared for & put your time into... are gone.  Forever.  And there's nothing you can do about it.  It's temporary, and temporary is hard.  

Not a day goes by that I don't remember them.  His smile.  Her singing.  I had a sister for three months.  But now she's gone and I may never see her again.  Little things remind me of them on a daily basis.  It's been two years, but that doesn't matter. (When people find out I know every word to Justin Bieber's "Baby"... they don't know I had a sister for three months.)  I had to learn to let it all go.  Every moment.  

Maybe one day we'll get a call.  Maybe one day we'll see them again.  Maybe one day I'll get to see the kids that occupied my house for more than three months once again.  I'll pray for that. 

Miss you more than anything, C&I.  Come see me, k?