gratitude

Tonight I rocked my 6-month-old Treybe back to sleep.

I fingered his kinky curls and tried not to laugh at his crazy snores.  I remembered my night exactly 6 months ago.

I did the same thing, that night.   I fingered his (less) kinky curls and listened to his teeny newborn snores.  He held my finger and I stood in that room full of people before I had to go.  I loved him more than words could express.

I left, keeping that little memory in my head.  I drove home with my dad and three brothers in silence because we all knew what was coming.  I was scared.  I was excited.  I was nervous.  I went to bed that night unsure of what would happen the next morning or the next or the one after that one.  The thought of living without him scared me more than words can describe.

I don't honestly know why God gives and why God takes away.  But what I do know is that He knows what He's doing when He does it.  So when I left that night, although scared out of my mind, I was content.

Well, he came home a day later.  He was temporarily made ours the day after that.  And then, after some of the scariest months of my life, he was made ours forever.  And I don't honestly know why God was so good to us.

I don't honestly know why God gave my family such a perfect, precious and beautiful in every way gift through the miracle of adoption 6 short months ago.  I've always felt like we didn't deserve him because of how much joy he's brought to my home.

But what I do know is that He planned it for a reason.  He created adoption for a reason.  And when He created it, He created it the most beautiful thing in the world.  He really did.  He brought Trey Malachi home for a reason.  And there are not enough words to describe how much that means to me.

Happy 6 months, my Treybe.  I love you more than words could ever describe.  You've changed my life in more ways than I could ever count.