So after this craziness today, i've learned a lot in the past 10 hours.  i've put all my time and energy into that date.  every time i was completely overwhelmed, all i thought about was how once i finished it, the baby would be so super close.  and then everything would be okay.  And then, today happened.  And it all just sort of fell into a big huge mess..... that was gone.  And so I thought about how I can't live like that.  Always getting through one thing just to get to the next.  I haven't taken pictures more than once or twice a week.  And it's all because the baby has been the only thing on my mind, and it shouldn't have been.

I felt so attached to this, that when it fell apart, I fell apart with it.  Cuz all I thought about was this baby and November 11 and when it came crashing down today, I felt a huge hole.

And I forget that everyday means a lot.  Today is a blessing.  Not the due date.  Not tomorrow.  Right now.

And... yesterday (before all of this craziness), a rainbow.  I saw this rainbow while we were still matched... but I had this feeling when I saw it.  And now I know why.

God's promise.  To me.  


p.s. listening to +++++++++

Unknown  – (October 27, 2011 at 7:28 PM)  

Oh Emma, Jesus is drawing you close in this. He is speaking to you and your heart is open. We love you guys through this pain, just as we will love you through the joy. xoxo

Unknown  – (October 27, 2011 at 7:29 PM)  

I don't know why it showed up as "unknown". This is kaarin!

Lisa Taylor  – (October 27, 2011 at 7:33 PM)  

This is a beautiful post full of so much wisdom!!! I had a similar thought today walking through Costco about the false sense of peace a date can bring....but it was in regard to my own life. TODAY is a blessing!!! xoxo

Kim Thompson  – (October 27, 2011 at 9:39 PM)  

You are seriously full of wisdom for such a young girl. I love you

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