LIFE.

So after this craziness today, i've learned a lot in the past 10 hours.  i've put all my time and energy into that date.  every time i was completely overwhelmed, all i thought about was how once i finished it, the baby would be so super close.  and then everything would be okay.  And then, today happened.  And it all just sort of fell into a big huge mess..... that was gone.  And so I thought about how I can't live like that.  Always getting through one thing just to get to the next.  I haven't taken pictures more than once or twice a week.  And it's all because the baby has been the only thing on my mind, and it shouldn't have been.

I felt so attached to this, that when it fell apart, I fell apart with it.  Cuz all I thought about was this baby and November 11 and when it came crashing down today, I felt a huge hole.

And I forget that everyday means a lot.  Today is a blessing.  Not the due date.  Not tomorrow.  Right now.

And... yesterday (before all of this craziness), a rainbow.  I saw this rainbow while we were still matched... but I had this feeling when I saw it.  And now I know why.

God's promise.  To me.  

xoxo.

p.s. listening to +++++++++