SEND ME

Last night I read a blog post.  And last night I knew for sure.

It was this post.  I urge you to read it, but if you don't want to, the gist is that this sweet blogger came across a few people who owned African dolls and played with them for a season growing up. And now?  They're all living in/doing short term mission work in Africa.

The coincidence?  I had an African doll.  And I played with it for a season.  My mom took me to the store and let me choose whichever one I wanted, and I chose the African one.

So when I came across this post after all this Africa-homesickness going on?  I knew.

Last night I didn't just read a blog post.  Last night I found God's purpose for me. 

And friends, if you didn't think it was possible for God to speak to you through another person... let alone a blog I read.... well than this post is your proof. 

So today?  I went into my laundry room and got a mason jar from under the shelves.  I cut letters from the vintage paper in my drawer and set it on my dresser.

And I'm going to leave it on my dresser.  I've always hidden the money I save.  I keep it in a drawer in a jar wrapped in a shirt because I don't want anyone to find it or take it.  But this money?  This jar?  It's staying on the shelf.  Because this money, this jar, it's not mine to keep.  And if God wants to take it, He will take it.  But if he wants to add to it, He will add to it.  I'm not going to pretend like I have control over it.  

And now it will stay on my dresser so that every time I see it I'm reminded,

It's not mine anyway.

Right next to my Africa necklace.  

And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 

“Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” 

Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” 

Isaiah 6:8