SEND ME

Last night I read a blog post.  And last night I knew for sure.

It was this post.  I urge you to read it, but if you don't want to, the gist is that this sweet blogger came across a few people who owned African dolls and played with them for a season growing up. And now?  They're all living in/doing short term mission work in Africa.

The coincidence?  I had an African doll.  And I played with it for a season.  My mom took me to the store and let me choose whichever one I wanted, and I chose the African one.

So when I came across this post after all this Africa-homesickness going on?  I knew.


Last night I didn't just read a blog post.  Last night I found God's purpose for me. 

And friends, if you didn't think it was possible for God to speak to you through another person... let alone a blog I read.... well than this post is your proof. 

So today?  I went into my laundry room and got a mason jar from under the shelves.  I cut letters from the vintage paper in my drawer and set it on my dresser.

And I'm going to leave it on my dresser.  I've always hidden the money I save.  I keep it in a drawer in a jar wrapped in a shirt because I don't want anyone to find it or take it.  But this money?  This jar?  It's staying on the shelf.  Because this money, this jar, it's not mine to keep.  And if God wants to take it, He will take it.  But if he wants to add to it, He will add to it.  I'm not going to pretend like I have control over it.  

And now it will stay on my dresser so that every time I see it I'm reminded,

It's not mine anyway.

Right next to my Africa necklace.  

And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 
“Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” 
Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” 
Isaiah 6:8

Emma  – (March 5, 2013 at 9:20 PM)  

I want to go. I desperately want to go. :) I read a quote today, "what would you do if you weren't afraid?". And what would I do? I would go all over the world, advocating for orphans, and adopting as many children as my heart could hold. But there is fear. I really want to. But then there is that little devil conscience sitting on your shoulder, saying "what if you get tired of having that many kids?" or "what if you hate being so far from 'home' and want to go back? You will have failed." or "what if life is so hard you spend every night crying yourself to sleep? what if the destitution and poverty make you bawl your eyes out every minute of every day and you are so emotionally exhausted you feel empty?" What would I do if I wasn't afraid? I would say "Here am I! Send me!", and although I am afraid, I'm convinced not to let the fear discourage me. If I'm called to this I will do it. :)

p.s. sorry I post such long comments! :P

Olivia  – (March 6, 2013 at 9:13 AM)  

giiirl. if you have a dream pursue it. and you are starting to do that. xoxo

happyflower  – (March 6, 2013 at 1:32 PM)  

You make me want to pursue my dreams. You are amazing and I love how passionate you are about Africa. I hope God will full fill those dreams. ;) I love you SO much and miss you like crazy.

xoxo
-Jemima

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