((Schedule glitched -- three days late works, right?))

One year ago today, I met my baby brother for the first time ever.

Little did I know how much it would turn my world upside down.

Little did I know the Lord had been tearing my heart apart only to rebuild it in this moment.

Little did I know how much my life would be changed, just because of one woman's choice.  Just because of God's choice a very long time ago.  

Little did I know how much I could love one woman for giving us such a gift.

Little did I know, one year ago, just how much joy would be entering my life.

& that's what all of this has been since day one.  Joy.  Pure joy.  A little boy entered the world one year ago today with a birth certificate, and a name, and a heritage and a life.  A chosen life.  God could have chosen anyone... at all for him.  But He knew.  He saw.  And He chose us.  

It has been a journey.  It always will be a journey.  But we are grateful that God said yes to our plead to be on a journey with him.  And his momma.  His sweet birth momma.  

There were times in our adoption journey where I pleaded with God and he said one word.  


I said let his delivery be safe & the transition go smoothly, Lord.

He said okay.

I said give him to us please, Lord.

He said okay.

I said please don't take him away from me, Lord.

He said okay.

I said please, Lord, give us forever.

He said okay.

And today, after twelve months of pleading with God, and after twelve months of God saying okay , he turns one year old.  He turns one year old with so many people loving him.  So many people part of his journey.  The journey doesn't end and it never will end.  I always say adoption is always forever.  It is not sign the papers and make it legal and it ends.  No.  It is constant.  Just like God's adoption of us is, it is never-ending   The journey, it is always going on.  

The past twelve months of Trey Malachi have held some of my worst and some of my favorite moments.  In the end?  He gave us forever.  And amidst my fears, amidst the mess I was in in certain moments, He gave us forever.  He chose forever.  And He'll never stop choosing forever.  I really didn't realize or comprehend the emotions I would feel in my worst lows and my best highs.  

Today, though, I'm clinging to God's unchanging love.  It hasn't changed from the day He chose me as His daughter to the day He chose Trey as my brother.  It hasn't changed when we were unsure and it hasn't changed when we were all standing in the courtroom, all, I think, on the verge of tears, hearing the judge say yes and watching him sign the papers.  

He is our forever.  And God's love is unchanging.  This is what I know in my heart to be true today and this is what I will cling to for all my life.  

Thank you, Jesus, for twelve months of Trey Malachi.  Twelve overwhelming, unexplainable, perfect, compelling & beautiful months.  I have been changed, we all have seen and know it is true.  Everyone asks me... "are you guys all bonded now?"... "How's the transition?"... "Do you LIKE having a baby in the house?"... "How do your brothers feel about this?"... and let me tell you.  The past twelve months have involved change, serious change, not just in our family dynamics.  Not just in our sleep pattern, or in our schedule, or in any aspect of our family at all.  That stuff doesn't matter.  It's just a bunch of baloney the world says matters.  No, we've all been changed in our hearts.  It didn't take the entire year to be "bonded" w/ him.  It was never a transition.  It was never a like/dislike situation.  It was never about what anyone felt.  It was about God telling us to do something and us responding and letting Him work in us.

And He did.

And He will continue to.

And He always will when you allow Him to.

My goodness.  One whole year.

My heart is overflowing today.

(Here comes the photo dump)

Happy Birthday to the little boy that made me realize my dreams.  I love you Trey & every single moment I've had with you.  You are the best!  I'm so happy God chose you for me.  I love you baby!!!!!!

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